Interview with Warsie

The Fool: Welcome everyone to this years third interview, with this years second placed manager, the ever lovable Warsie! You may remember that Warsie came fourth last year, so this year has seen a good improvement for the Aucklander-cum-North Cantabrian.
Warsie: Hi Mr Fool and avid readers and fans, it is a pleasure to be here again.
The Fool: It is our pleasure, so has anything changed in the past year that you would like to share with the group?
Warsie: My wife and I are expecting twins late October/early November. It hasn’t happened yet, does that count? There are noticeable changes.
The Fool: That is a big change! Congratulations to you both, I am sure you both are well ready for the challenge that will bring. So, this is your second year in the top 4, do you think you will win the league next year?
Warsie: Obviously, that is always my aim. I thought I had a decent shot at it after a terrible start, but a loss in a crucial match as well as the odd awful round, meant I never really got close enough to be able to aim higher than 2nd. I ought to put some more thought into my initial selections next time around, but lack of sleep may affect later form.
The Fool: Yeah, although the hours of trying to pacify unruly newborns may provide more time to keep on top of what is happening in the EPL. In any case, you have been an improving manager in the league, what do you think you did better this year to improve to second?
Warsie: Last year was an odd one, with Leicester’s low cost, high scoring players favouring my preference for not buying high priced players who ruin a round when they don’t score. I had to rebuild my initial squad fairly quickly, selling my failing players for a loss, and replacing them with high priced players who this year were scoring consistently. I regularly rotated my other players for the cheapest I could find with high form, who might pick up a few extra points for a couple weeks. I also saved my wildcard for the end of the season, and the catch-up weeks, to bring in as many players from teams playing 2 games each week as I could. That got me a few wins at the end.
The Fool: Last year was a weird one, that was for sure, and this year defied some predictions with Man City now the only team to finished in the top 4 for every year this decade. So, has the 3rd Annual 9642 Fantasy League changed you in anyway? Or allowed you to improve as a model human being since last year?
Warsie: Certainly. My confidence in my everyday life was boosted each week by my regular successes.
The Fool: It is good to hear that the 9642 Fantasy League is providing tangible benefits to your life. Moving away from the league, have the beaches in the cold cold south improved? Started to burn more wood to improve your climate?
Warsie: Good god no, I don’t even know if I went to a beach this year. I have to break the ice on every bit of standing water I would otherwise have to wade through each morning at work. It is a frozen hellscape with no hope of warmth or comfort in sight.
The Fool: Sometimes I wonder why you moved south. Any new hobbies or interests to report to your legions of fans?
Warsie: I have gathered a coven of like-minded individuals, and we congregate regularly to pray to a dark god and work twisted magics. Also I get together with a group of friends on Sunday and play Dungeons and/or Dragons, for which I am the DM. Mostly they play, and I enable their fun.
The Fool: That is very noble of you to provide so much of yourself to improving the enjoyment of others. I don’t think I will look to hard into the dark occult arts being practiced behind the curtain. How about the hockey season, how is that going? Winning everything?
Warsie: I wish, we did win last week, I think we’re 5th out of 7 currently.
The Fool: At least you aren’t last! So how about your favourite football team, How was Wolves season this year??
Warsie: Let me check…. 15th, so not great, despite the sale to a rich Chinese guy and the acquisition of a bunch of talented Portuguese players on loan.
The Fool: How long until you think that Wolves will get promoted and/or relegated?
Warsie: This is clearly their year etc etc. Who know, football’s a funny old game, innit?
The Fool: Finally, last year we discovered that you would use any superhero powers for evil, which doesn’t sound that good for the rest of us. However, this year I was wondering whether you prefer Batman or Superman?
Warsie: Are we talking current film iterations (neither) comics (I dunno) or awesome 90’s animated tv series (BATMAN BATMAN!)
I guess Batman?
The Fool: Good choice, I am a batman man myself, especially the 60’s batman. Now for our final question, will pineapple lumps, jaffas and pinky’s ever taste the same now they will be made in Australia?
Warsie: None of these things are made by Whittakers, so I have no basis for forming an opinion.